Somedays, I don’t want to parent.

I am the mother of three. Boy -girl -boy. In that order.

They all need there momma. Even at 22-18-11, also, in that order.

And I just want to take a minute, and let you know that it is normal to not want to parent sometimes. Sometimes, do you let them be “ungrounded” earlier for your own mental health? I know I have. I play a zone defense at all times. It’s 3 to 1 guys - I have to be tough! If they sense a moment of weakness, I’m done for.

But recently, I have started doing something in my home that has actually changed some of my kids behaviors for the good. And of course, we are talking about the little guy mostly, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work on the big ones.

I set clear expectations. And I also give grace. For example, my little fella’s chore is dishes. Load, unload, and put away. Well, Sunday night there were dishes in the sink and the dishwasher was done. Hmmm. (The dishes in the sink were from Saturday evening, FYI. ) As I went upstairs to shower, I told him to do the dishes after he finished what he was doing. He said, “Yes ma’am! “ and off I went.

Monday morning, there’s dishes. Same ones. Same glaring blue light staring at me on the dishwasher saying, “I’m ignored!” I thought, I am going to fuss at him this morning when he calls. But when he called me, I was swamped at work and just didn’t remember. So on we go to Monday Night. Guess what? Dishes still there. At this point, I am making him pick up his mess in the garage - there was sidewalk chalk everywhere - So I walk out and tell him that his chore wasn’t done. I could tell he generally forgot. He said he was sorry - and it was genuine - and told me he would get right on it. I knew I should be the enforcer. Give him a lecture on the importance of follow through, etc. - but I didn’t. I went and did some yoga to relax before bed. I gave him some grace - and I felt good about it.

Until 5 am this morning. Dishes are much taller. Blue light still on. Made the red light of anger in my soul come on. So, I went to work. And he called. And now I remembered. Not only that, I had also sent his sister photos of the problems - and told her there is no privledge’s’ until everything was completed. I also added quite a few tasks to the list.

We talked, and I told him how I hated arguing and telling him what to do. How I can’t stand the “I forgot” mentality. He told me that he forgot on accident, (LOL - that’s a quote from his mouth), and he would do better and figure out a way to remember. I told him how well he had done before remembering, what happened?

His routine. His routine got outta whack this weekend. Which is okay! It’s good even! Now we know, that if his routine gets jumbled, it’s hard for him to slide back in. I can work with that. So lists are made for the next few days - with a couple extra chores because he still didn’ t do it so we can’t skate that, and all is well.

I am learning to stick my ground. Give some grace. Give some movement to be themselves. And still have high expectations. On August 11th, an episode is going to drop about parenting struggles, and hopefully Jeff helps me! LOL! You don’t want to miss that one!